Now, that was interesting!
by rosalindleconte
Summary: Edward concern for Bella's human experiences may be about his own regrets at missing out on human sensual experiences... He devises a plan to remediate...What would be on Bella's list? What about Edward's? MATURE sensual exploration, sexual descriptions
1. The Same old story

**AN: Now that I am getting the hang of this business, I have some housekeeping to do...**

**This series is part of a larger novel project, "Evening Star". I have chosen to post in piece parts to facilitate readability and hopefully make reading my story a bit more pleasurable. You can read the whole thing in order on my C2 or just check out my author listings for more.**

**Check out my profile for information about me and about my work. **

**I look forward to hearing from you...what kinds of experiences do you think Edward would put on a list...hmmmmm? Take the poll.**

**And now, on with the show...**

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**Human Experiences**

""You know… that before you…are changed, I want you to have every human experience. I don't want you to miss out on a thing, right?"

Bella's heavy sigh indicated she was beyond fighting about this point that Edward made on an increasingly frequent basis. She had surrendered to it, with absolute acceptance, but that didn't mean she could whine about having the same conversation for the 10,000th time. "Yes, yes, Edward…I know how you feel about me missing out…and this is your justification for delaying my changing after the wedding."

Sometimes Edward could be perfectly tedious.

"Really, I thought we had been through all this, Edward?" she said, throwing her self backwards on the bed, her arms splayed out like a cross, to signal she had given up on this particular point. "Can we please talk about something else?"

"Well, good, I am glad you see my reasoning." Edward said matter-of-factly, obviously pleased with himself for being so persuasive and with his beloved for being gracious in defeat. "I think we should make a list…"

His point, a stumbling block on her journey to immortality, was not just another opportunity to assure Edward of her commitment to marrying him and being changed. but more than that, if she agreed to it, even in part, Edward would have to keep his end of the bargain. Her changing would be almost assured. All she had to do was consent to human life experiences. It was a thrilling possibility and easily accomplished if for one complication: the composition of what he meant by 'human experiences' was never quite settled and always seemed to be changing.

"Make a _list_?" she was confused and irritated. "What I would put on it, Edward? I don't know even understand what you are talking about…!" she raised her voice in frustration. "This is _your_ condition. You tell me—what kind of things should I be worried about missing out on?"

_Just what kind of experiences was he so concerned about anyway? I wonder what would be on his list?_

"I don't know, Bella," he hissed, "what kinds of things have you always wanted to do and haven't gotten to and you would wish you would have done…as a human?"

Bella raised her eyebrows, batting her eyes with meaning. "Then that's easy…it's a very short list, Edward…there is only one thing that I want to experience as a human…and you are well aware of that, I believe…"

_I was not playing along so easily anymore, frustrated by what I perceived to be a game at my expense. He wanted me to have experiences, yet I was supposed to tell him what I would miss out on after I was not human anymore? He would just have to work harder to make me understand this point which was clearly so important to him but made little sense to me._

He grumbled in frustration, his hands in fists pressed firmly against his legs, and I wished that somehow we could get through this very sticky issue that seemed to haunt us.

Bella sighed and sunk into her rocking chair, tired of playing this game, going around and around in circles, trying to figure out what it was that he was so afraid she would regret. "Edward, why can't we just explore the world together? Do our differences really matter that much? I don't think they do."

Edward sat at her feet, his lap resting gently on her knee. She caressed him, running her fingers through his thick hair, admiring the bronze highlights that seemed to be strands of gold and she wondered with awe about the life that she would share along side her beautiful husband. She bent down to kiss him gently when he abruptly interrupted the moment by bouncing up from the floor. He sat on the edge of the bed, still as a stone, guilty of some unknown offense.

"I am sorry darling, did I startle you?" She asked, looking deeply into his eyes for a trace of thirst but his eyes were clear, golden and shining. But his face was not.

"I have a confession to make to you." He looked positively grim, so serious he was about the conversation.

_It was more than a little absurd and I had to focus intently not to break into a fit of giggles because he was so completely adorable. All I tried to do was give him a peck on the cheek? What's the big deal? I wanted to tell him so, but I didn't dare intrude on his confession. What could he possibly have to confess?_

He continued, "When we first discussed this…condition of mine… my intention was not honorable. It was entirely a delay tactic, of a sort, to delay your decision to become...like me. I grant you that my motivation was purely to assure you did not suffer any regret after your making.

"Yes, I kinda figured that out, darling. That part I understand…the longer the list the greater the chance I would change my mind…or at least I could have experienced more of the human world before I gave it up." The sing song nature of the sentiment was partially a product of the tedious nature of the discussion. This was not new. It was getting old.

_I wanted to say…in exchange for human experiences I would be able to explore a brand NEW world with YOU, but I censored myself._

His grief seemed to grow more dark as the confession continued, "Although my original motivation was purely for you, well, in your best interest, I realize now it simultaneously was a self serving argument, one based on my own interests and in making it a condition of your changing, I have not been entirely ethical." He hung his head and would not match my gaze.

"I still don't get it…I'm sorry, I don't, darling. What is wrong?" Kneeling now, trying to peek in his eyes, holding his head in her tiny hand she wondered if she would ever dissuade him from the depth of his masochism that he seemed so intent on punishing himself.

"_How can it be selfish of him to desire I have more human experiences?...unethical?_" I thought.

Edward's old fashioned and round-about language perplexed her. But since he slides into it less frequently now, it usually is a sign of something emotionally or socially taxing for him for it is only when he struggles with some point of social interaction. She understood it and it was quite endearing, if confounding. A throw-back to a long ago age, to a time when he was a young man and certain topics were not discussed with ladies. But acknowledging it and understanding it are two different things.

"I am sorry, darling, but I just don't understand what you mean, Edward." My face was pursed like a squeezed lemon with trying to concentrate, believing that if I could only focus on the exact words he used, I might be able to discern what he meant from what he said. "Can you tell me a little more to help me understand how can it be that you be selfish for wanting to share the excitement of my experiences?"

His frustration bordered now on indignation, not with my lack of comprehension but stemming from his inability to communicate this idea tormented him. He simply could not find the words to say it with the delicacy he desired. He brushed me side gently as he rose and looked painfully out the window.

"Just spit it out, darling. You'll feel better and so will I. I want to understand, really I do and I won't be insulted or anything, ok? I promise, I won't, no matter what. Just say it. " Her brown eyes begging for help from him could not be denied. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as if the secret burdened by some great weighty sentiment. _Whatever it was that made him feel selfish it was doing a very good job of it._

Finally giving in to his frustration, he growled to himself, and plunged into the darkness of this realization that exasperated him. "Maybe it is _I _who wants more human experiences—for _me_, of course they would be _with_ you, but I want them more for _me._..than for your benefit" Bella silently smoothed his hair, wishing she could so easily lift his spirit. "…so I can try to remember.." She was stunned by this admission.

"My demand was selfish," he was very upset with himself, pursing his lips tightly together, grinding his teeth as his tense fists pressed deeply into his thighs. "It is the very definition of selfish, and I am ashamed. I wanted human more experiences _for myself_ and the only way I can have them is to live vicariously through your experiences—my demand was more to fill in for my own regrets rather than to prevent future regret for you. And making it a condition of your changing, well, I manipulated you, I orchestrated the situation entirely for my own benefit. I am more than embarrassed. I am mortified at my deceit; even if it was unconscious…and I am afraid; how can you ever forgive me?"

If he could have blushed, his face would have been flushed beet red. If he had tears, we would have drown. I could see his body react with shame and he averted his gaze from me, which he rarely ever did anymore. I was not surprised that I felt no malice for his manipulation, I only felt sympathy for his conflict, his upsetting self discovery, and the difficulty he had expressing himself. I wanted more than anything to understand and now that I did, I felt genuinely sorry for his predicament.

"Okay, I guess it is simply this…" he began with a tremble threatening the silken nature of his voice, finally understanding himself the intricate elements of his predicament. "…every human experience you have is vicariously an experience for me. I get to be just that little bit more, well, _human_. I get to imagine or maybe even remember what it would be like to experience things… and to be a little closer to the man I would be if I could be with you when I see you experience something new, when your heart races, and you tremble with excitement or when you cry from joy and wonder…"

I understood perfectly now. He had missed out on so much being made so early. It was _his _human life he grieved, not the potential experiences that I would relinquish when I was changed, and he didn't want me to feel as he did, only worse, having chosen to release my claim on all things human just to be with him. I held him close, my head resting on his back, my arms wrapped around his waist. I could not take his shame or pain from him, but I could try to sympathize.

"When it dawned on me that perhaps my insistence on this absurd condition to your making was perhaps more about me than you, and that was the definition of selfishness, and I regret that I didn't realize my that until now…and I hope you will forgive me." He turned to face me, holding my shoulders in his hands so gently, afraid of touching me, afraid of my reaction. So totally engrossing was his shame that his beautiful topaz eyes lost their shine.

"My darling, Edward," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him gingerly as if I could sooth his soul's burden with kisses. "You forget one vital fact," I was very confident I would relieve his pain with my honest feelings about this revelation, if I could only get his attention. I pulled him over to the foot of my bed, sliding into his clenched arms to sit in his lap. When he settled down, feeling my calm breath, perhaps he relaxed in the hope that I would not be angry with him.

"I am sorry that you have upset yourself, Edward. I can only imagine how this must hurt you. But I want you to know that what you did…what you think you did…doesn't hurt me. Not at all." He lifted his head incredulously, "You can't mean that, Bella. What I did was unconscionable."

"Oh Edward," I sighed, brushing his hair back, wishing it could soothe his soul. "We humans are very selfish creatures, Edward…" her voice was low and soothing, cooing like Esme, she hoped to allay his fears, like a nurturing mother would reassure her child.

"…and I think by choosing to mold your desire to look like it was something you wanted for me…which some might be seen as manipulation…in this instance, I believe you have shown yourself to be very, very human, indeed." _I think I stuck a chord of truth in him with my simple assessment of our complicated conversation._

He stared, unmoving.

"You found a way to get what you need and masked it as something you wanted for me. So what? Do you expect me to hold it against you that you had a _human moment?_"

I smiled at him widely and embraced him first with my wide eyes and then with my entire being. "I love you, you know…no matter what…good, bad, and most especially…when you dare to be _human_."

His eyes darted back and forth trying to process what I had said. After a few moments, he spoke, his voice quiet and low as he gingerly navigated this his deepest pain only newly revealed to himself. "I was very young when I was made, so very young, you see…and although I have seen much of the world since then, I would very much like to share your very human reactions. It is a way for me to be… inside of you, be with you…and maybe to be the man that I could have been…."

Tears welled in my eyes, swelling to the brim of my lid, but not daring to fall. This was not my sadness, but an expression of my love for the beautiful man that I adored. "I really do understand now, Edward, and I thank you for working so hard for me to understand." I said with a clarity that was immediate and genuine. "but" there was a second of hesitance, not knowing how he would react, "…don't you see, …this is exactly why I can't wait to join you, to be in your world as soon as possible and in every way imaginable, so that I can be with you, inside of your world in the most intimate way, every day…"

His grief quickly dissipated, not entirely, of course, I know Edward well enough to know that he would carry the remnants of his misplaced shame for eternity, however, he was released enough, reassured enough by my reaction to proceed with his quest. "So, _that's _why I think we should make a list of all the human dreams we want to share now…do you understand me clearly? I know what I did was wrong, and I know you know that I am sorry and I am not making a delay. I have surrendered to your claim to have me change you so that we can be together in eternity. I still have my issues with that but I am resigned to it, if not entirely convinced it is the best thing for you." his promise was genuine, honorable, and entirely adorable.

I nuzzled into his chest, purring,"So, ….ummmm, Big Boy," I said as seductively as any klutzy virgin human can muster, "what kind of human experiences are you interested in…?" He laughed at my pathetic attempt at Mae West bawdiness, "Oh yes, we will no doubt get to that, my love, but I was thinking more along the lines of

"Lobster with butter and champagne…"

"roller coasters, deep sea diving, white water rafting,

His list continued unabated, not even giving me the chance to comment. "Machu Pichu? Cape Hope? The Orient Express? Tour Eifel? Big Ben? Red Rocks? The Valley of the Kings?

Finally, he paused long enough for me to interject. "Are you insane? You and me…in Egypt? In _July_?" I pounced on him and we fell backwards onto my little bed, and I kissed him deeper than I expect he would allow. "I can't wait, Edward, to make your list come true!" I said, meaning every work.

_I was aghast with the idea of the riot that would erupt when Edward began sparkling at the top of the Sphinx, but it actually was on my short list…_


	2. Better Lock the door next time

There are very few days left before the wedding. Edward's curiosity about Bella's sexual responses overwhelms him. Although they have agreed to remain chaste before their wedding, he was ready to explore the boundaries of intimacy—safely, within the limits of their 'experiments'. She has been more than delighted to comply…until now.

Edward waited patiently in Bella's room while she showered. Dangling his long legs over the edge of her bed he held her pillow to his face to infuse her scent into his lungs.

Bella, singing tunelessly, mused about the day while the hot water filled the room with steam. Inspecting herself she sighed in disbelief. _"You can not show these legs at the beach…fuzzy wuzzy little bear…"_ she grumbled to herself, cursing Alice's 'fashion laws which included cute skirts and painful regimens for the beatification of the female form. Edward seemed to appreciate every iota of her efforts, but Bella would never admit that she liked the way he looked at her sporting one of Alice's fashion interventions.

"_She is turning me into a girly-girl—yuck!"_ She lived in fear of Alice's wrath. But she feared hot wax more.

Although he was content to wait patiently as Bella endeavored to complete whatever human ritual she was working on completing…he could not help but become restless, listening to the driving beat of the shower head, her sweet voice floating just above the sound. No matter how long he lived he would never understand these vague and pointless human rituals related to strawberry scented cosmetics. What could she possibly be doing all this time.

His curiosity had little to do with his being a vampire and entirely to do with the increasingly painful itch he felt in his loins whenever she was so close to him, but yet so very far from touchable. The sensation was becoming unbearable. He slid down the hall and silently opened the door with such precision it didn't appear to be moving at all, ajar, his view no longer obscured; he could observe her to his contentment….at least until she caught him.

He amused himself, stealthily sauntering in without Bella detecting a hint of his presence. Moving from the door frame to the counter littered with cosmetics he was oddly attracted by the display. He examined each item quizzically, wondering at the purpose of each bottle, lotion, and scent. Lost in his discovery of the mysteries which was his fiancée's toilette, he lost track of himself and was caught red handed—with his nose in a jar of Pond's Cold Cream.

The shower curtain ripped open with the whizzing sound of chrome plated shower rings. How was he to know she turned the water off after getting out? The sound terrified him with the idea that had escaped his imagination until just this moment: behind that 5mm thick layer of heavy duty vinyl was the object of his lust, all wet and naked. How was he to know there was a towel ring in the shower stall? When she emerged, Bella was quite startled to look up to see Edward—in her bathroom,…playing with her bathroom stuff?.

"Edward!" she cried with feigned shock, "Are you _spying_ on me? she teased him with the authenticity of a B-grade horror movie actress, "How thrilling!" she moaned exaggeratedly, hoping he thought it seductive. "How long have you been standing there…?" she laughed at him,when it was plain to see she startled him much more than he had startled her.

Edward didn't even react to her prodding. He was always a perfect gentleman and she knew it. Any other teenage boyfriend with open access to his love's bed would have taken advantage of every opportunity to indulge his curiosities and impulsive nature, but Edward did not.

So, this minor invasion of her 'human time' was not only suspect, it was highly irregular behavior. Edward seemed somehow preoccupied, a look of indecision on his face that seemed troubled, as if he was trying to decide to risk sharing his thoughts or not.

"I'm sorry, honey," she said, tucking my towel tighter around my body and shaking out my shaggy wet mane, "Was I was taking too long? You must be bored…I just have to shave my legs…"

Edward opened his mouth only to close it a second later, thinking better of his words. He seemed to stumble on his thoughts, another highly unusual event, or perhaps he was tripping on his tongue. This was peculiar behavior. Usually if he was unsure of something he would not indicate it. Obviously, something was on his mind. _What could it be?_

_I instantly regretted teasing him about spying. _

"I was only teasing, darling, you know that, right?" she said wrapping her towel just a little tighter as she collected the necessaries. "I hope I didn't hurt your feelings" she said, with real concern as she looked up at him,

Bella stood near the tub, wet hair dripping down her back in fresh streams of droplets, drenching the soft blue bath towel that covered her. With one leg on the tub, twirling a can of shaving cream as she released a squirt of gel into her hand, she flustered, "I am almost done, I _promise_…."

Edward leaped towards her impulsively. "Now _there_ is something I would like to try…" Darting across the tile, he scooped the lather from her hand before she could blink.

His statement was a question made with effortless courteousness as if he was offering to do something entirely mundane--to open her door or carry her books. Utterly speechless, Bella struggled to maintain a poker face to suppress a laugh that would surely hurt his already bruised feelings. The ridiculousness of this situation was epic and she wondered if it was a joke…

He went straight to his work knowing hesitation was his nemesis. He glazed her leg and was completely fascinated to watch the gel transform into rich foam with the stroke of his hand.

"Edward, what had gotten into you…?" she protested in astonishment.

His plan was to distract her with small talk, appearing casual, but all the while he was hyper-focused on his task.

A new experiment in human experience was about to begin.

"I just don't understand this human preoccupation with unnatural scents," he said, calmly, bantering like a stylist combing through wet curls while applying layer after layer of shaving foam on Bella's entire leg. "You are that much more delicious without this…fake…strawberry stuff."

"I'll keep that in mind', she said, smiling and rolling her eyes as she thought about how many shopping trips she would have to endure with Alice seeking unscented everything.

"Thank you so much for your help, Edward," she said politely, "but if you will excuse me for a few minutes…I will finish up here, and then we can go, alright?"

_Not in a million years of living with Edward would I have predicted what happened next._

"May I?" He said as he ever so politely grasped the pink razor with slight of hand speed worthy of Las Vegas con artist.

"I don't think that is such a good idea…Edward. Seriously…"

_I couldn't believe this insanity._

"…think about it, Edward," Bella spoke slowly and calmly as if to a child. "It's a _razor_...razors cut things…"

"_Up to now he didn't show any signs of complete psychotic breakdown? Are Alice's crazy plans finally getting to him?"_

Edward continued on his insane quest without relinquishing the device in his hand. He examined it carefully, pronouncing it safe.

"Well,…it is a _safety_ razor, right? …._moisture strips_ and all that…?" Edward sounded like an infomercial agent.

"I can't believe you!" she exclaimed! "what..are you reading Rosalie's _Cosmo's_ again?"

"Frankly, I prefer _Marie Claire_." Edward quipped sharply as if he was compelled to admit that he actually had such an embarrassing opinion. "Better fashion."

_I had to laugh out loud thinking of Edward lounging around the house all night reading ladies magazine...the image was entertaining but the situation was becoming absurd. _

"Besides," he said with that black velvet tone that should be illegal, "it is not like anything _bad_ could really happen, right?" He thoroughly inspected the blade in his hand and the shift to this innocent voice was completely sincere, but only partially masked the lurking danger inherent in an indecent proposal.

"…after all, _you_ do this all the time and you haven't bled to death…yet."

"That's not exactly funny, Edward." She said flatly.

My body was running on overdrive, hypersensitive to the idea of what would happen if by some accident…my blood made an unplanned appearance…in the presence of my vampire finance… who daily reminded me that he feared the distinct possibility that his lust for my blood could lead him to ravage me and drink me dry.

"Come on…," he said, turning up the volume on his dazzling charms, "where is your sense of _adventure_?"

_The pink handle twirling in his fingers definitely seemed like a weapon. _

"Adventure? Are you kidding me?" I was stupefied. "And this from the vampire who won't steal second base for fear of losing control. Once again I was hoping that I hadn't crossed some invisible line between what may be spoken and what is taboo.

"Come on, Edward." I pleaded, "You have to understand how strange this situation is…and how potentially dangerous…?"

Perhaps it was Edward's smoldering eyes, glowing with golden flecks today, tantalizing me or perhaps it was the idea that this very commonplace activity could possess such an exciting new feeling of exhilaration, but I nodded my consent.

_Insane as it sounds, I was actually going to let Edward shave my legs._

He smiled victoriously in that crooked little grin that always won me over to anything he wanted, and he took full advantage of his winnings.

"Turn and face the wall."

His command was cool, but so authoritative, powerful and slightly dominant a unexpected rush of excitement awaked something inside me. It was a thrill, a sensation of…arousal I had not anticipated. I was suddenly hyper aware of my thighs touching.

_He excites me with his power._

Swimming in sensation, I obediently turned my torso to the tiled wall, my leg still perched on the tub. Although not very long, it stretched out like a tango dancer's lunge. "Now _that_ is something I would like to try some day…with you," he whispered energetically while he was admiring the view, "dancing _the Tango_." His nostrils flared with anticipation of the experience.

_In moments like this I am not sure I believe he can't hear my thoughts._

Edward stood behind me, his hand on my stomach, and he pulled me in very close. Our bodies connected with the lasting pressure of his grip. The angle of my leg and the posture of the pose contributed to a subtle tilt of my pelvis toward his body. His hand slid easily into the folds of my terry cover up and his fingertips gripped my waist and midriff. This deft action violated a number of the principals of chastity he imposed. His decision to touch my bare wet skin happened so fast I hardly had time to react until it was already complete. I was thrilled. I could not breathe. I wanted to scream with pleasure but I had no voice.

"Are you ready, my love?" he whispered in my ear, softly kissing my wet neck, my pineapple scented hair dripping down my back. He drummed his fingers with anticipation and impatience.

_I wondered if anyone in the Cullen family knew what was transpiring in my bathroom._

"Uh-huh…" I could barely get the non-words out of my mouth.

My heart must have been deafening to him because it was too loud for me to listen to, to loud to escape from the sound of my bounding pulse. He held me tightly, much closer than he had ever before. His fingertips gently played at my waist and with a steady hand he pressed the small of my back into his pelvis. Our hunger made contact with delicious pressure and I was breathlessly still, hoping he would not move. My body screamed for every inch of our connection—which seemed to be growing with every passing second.

"Now, try not to _move_…" he said very slowly, making the most of each vowel, as if he were singing the words.

Reaching for my quivering ankle, slathered with strawberry foam, his hand accidently glanced my naked thigh. Our eyes met, drawn like magnets to the ripple of electricity at his touch. He deftly guided my willing body and his swaying pelvis to the music of running water. With each pass of the razor, I relaxed into excitement, enjoying every moment as we gently sway as if we were one body. The excitement I felt appeared so quickly I was shocked at myself. My head rolled back to rest on his shoulder, in an expression of my complete surrender to this experience.

Rocking like a sailboat on a calm sea, I rode him or rather, he was leading the way.

"ahh," a little moan escaped my lips, "…who needs to tango when I can have this…?"

_I was in the moment…_

"We will just have to see about that," he said, a fine lined smile overtaking his lips the the dead of expressing our passion in a dance…it thrilled him.

_Who needs a run-of-the-mill tango when a lap dance with a vampire with a razor in his hand is so very exciting…?_

This mundane event became the most exciting sexual experience of my virgin life. I was breathless in his hands—the one with the razor and the one without. He danced on my skin with a need for endless discovery, tracing my exposed flesh, dipping lower and lower to my toes. I was transported into desire, consumed by sensations that pushed the buttons of my impulsive streak.

_I wanted more. _

My hips rocked hungrily with the natural grace generated from his dance. I was moving with him, rocking my pelvis against him, eager to feel his response. I was hungry, eager to know if he was aroused too. My body was on fire from his touch and the real danger lurking over us…between us….within us.

Imprisoned by the inconsistent rhythm of my breath, I was unable to speak, almost swooning in his arms; dizzy, overheated, and pleading for more.

_He was very pleased with himself. _

Although I could not see his face as I stared at the ceiling and tiled wall, I could smell his grin of delight. Rightly perceiving I might collapse from my weak-kneed feeling of excitement, he expertly hung my arm on to the curtain rod, and slowly lowered himself to the floor, never losing eye contact. My heart refused to resume beating with increasing possibility that this physical closeness could escalate to something much more intimate. Expertly, he gathered water in his hands, and rinsed the remnants of soap from my very smooth leg. He lingered at the knee and too particular attention to my quivering thigh. His gaze never wavered while I was drowning in his dazzling eyes. These most intimate touches played with the evaporating boundary between the sensual and the sexual. That thing we had never experienced possessed me.

"A very smooth job for a rookie, don't you think?" he whispered seductively in my ear, holding my stomach tightly in his opened hand, he nibbled gently on my shoulder and sending a new volley of fireworks shivering up and down my spine.

I involuntarily arched, tilting my pelvis, and raising my buttocks to seek his very eager crotch. I could feel the outline of his excitement through the thin layers of my towel and his jeans. I danced with him, emulating the rocking motion of the tango, maintaining constant contact with this hardness. Although, I had no idea what I was talking about, I was consumed with my desire to touch him, to taste him, to grind my bones into his and to pleasure him as he was tantalizing me.

"And now for the other leg…" he whispered but he was possessed with too much enthusiasm to maintain his calm and cool attitude; his anticipation to complete the task was overwhelming to him too.

_He was as hot and bothered by our little experiment as I was. With every passing moment, I was convinced I would faint and ruin it. Or my heart would just explode and I would die on the spot….with a smile on my face!_

"Turn around, please," he said with confident authority as he placed his hands on my shoulders, turning me around to face him. His matter-of-fact tone was a clever mask worn for the game. I could tell from his deliberate and controlled pace he was as aroused too.

"Edward," my voice barely registered as sound, My lips barely moved, my open mouth was hungry for his, but his crooked grin, arched eyebrow and his slightly pursed lips did not respond. "You are driving me crazy." Everything moved in slow motion, my brain and body overwhelmed with sensations taking over me.

"_Votre pied_, _sil c'est vous plait, mademoiselle_," he gently commanded, massaging my thigh with the heel of his palm, his fingertips tripping lightly on the way.

I wanted to say something sexy, something seductive, but it was hopeless. I didn't know anything about being…sexy, besides, once I could see those dazzling topaz eyes, I had lost the capacity for speech—the neurons of my brain obviously burned out.

My eyes never left his, speaking for my words that seemed to be misplaced. This connection was overwhelming, intimate and strong. Facing him, I could feel his sweet and rhythmic breath on me. I longed to take his mouth into mine.

I placed my foot gingerly on the edge of the tub. This simple act which parted my legs to him for the first time, nothing but a towel between us is certainly the most intimate position possible while standing…_and not having intercourse. _

Without hesitating, he began again, holding me closely to his chest, and bracing himself by putting his opposite leg also on the tub, I was completely surrounded by his body, encased in him, my hunger swelling dangerously close to exposure.

_I wanted him to take me._

Without warning, I felt suspended, my balance, already shaken by the nature of the exploration, severed as if I was lifted off the ground. How he could balance us both while dancing a tango with a razor in his hand, each motion of his hand rolling out bodies together so very closely, I will never know, but his tight grip on my back never relented, pulling me closer and closer to his chest. I didn't ask questions. I was along for the ride. Where ever it took us…

_I trusted him completely, but I wanted him more._

With even more precise and painstaking attention to detail in his work, he followed every contour, every nuance of my body, smoothing with his cool fingers the soapy tracks of the razor's edge. His large hands brought drenching water to clear the soap.

Breathless with desire as I was I could not help but giggle as he whispered half to himself, "Now, _that_ was very interesting."

Once satisfied with the superior quality of his razor work, he lingered, perhaps unwilling to bring the effort to any conclusion, he began to explore my nakedness.

My jagged breath edged closer and closer, somewhere between the disorder of crying and the chaos of ecstasy. Intense fire burning black pitch obscured his eyes when his hand caressed my trembling thigh. As his finger swirled closer to my sacred unknown center, his intent only overshadowed by his increased vigilance to the rules limiting this sensual, not sexual experiment….

Yet, there was nothing nonsexual about his fingers dancing in the lovely folds formed in the position of my hip and my quivering inner thigh, so close I know he could feel the heat radiating from within. His hand skimmed under the towel, brushing the wisps of hair guarding my secret place, returning to stroke with his thumb in relative safety, my trembling inner thigh, with gentle calculated accuracy, a ghost of contact, but not violating the terms of his experiment.

Involuntarily my muscles flexed, a systematic attempt to caress him, and a low moan escaped on the exhale of a breath held too tight, for too long. The magical breath now embodied in sound that echoed in the room was retained in a vain attempt to control my wild reaction and to retain the careful boundaries, to respect his rules that stated this overwhelming sexual exploration would not spill over into sex. There was little chance of that, so strong was his conviction, so great were his fears, however I could only hope he might be considering otherwise as his fingers expertly tracing the pulsing veins of my quivering thing. My only hope to keep this feeling alive was to keep the struggle for my erratic breath under wraps. Gasping moans definitely were not allowed. If I let on…he would be pushed too far…he would withdraw before he…I expected to feel, for him to flinch, to pull away, but as I have come to expect surprises from him…he did not retreat.

_Instead he found a whole new way to interrupt my respiration._

"I want to touch you Bella."

His dark eyes bored into mine like a laser, seeing into my mind, if not hearing my screams within pleading for mercy—_please_!

His fingers carefully traced the outline of the folds feathering out to him. Grazing, brushing with the faintest contact, mapping each wrinkle, tenderly with painstaking precision, gauging my every reaction. His expression in awe and intensity of focus gave away his secret: he had crossed over his own boundary from exploration into arousal. His unrelenting gaze, the pounding of my excited heart, measuring calculating how far to proceed. How I wished I could see him….how I wished he was inside me…I struggled to stay in the now of this experience and each sensation. To allow it to be his moment. To simply receive.

His touch grew stronger now, more deliberate, pressing into my flesh with intent, two fingers engaged in tandem massage. Cradled in his palm my mound throbbed with my pounding pulse. The hint of wetness he found could not be masked or denied. He smiled, playing with his fingers as if I were his instrument, and then drinking in the image of my response in my lax cheeks, my open mouth, wild eyed countenance of surprise, anticipation, ecstasy, and disbelief. My wet lips pouted a song singing of my wetness down below my mouth…

"So, that's why they are lips?" he murmured softly, delighted with his discovery. "so, lovely, and pink…soft and wet…

Overflowing with the rush of blood demanded by my heightened arousal, the temptation was too great to resist. The heat called to him just as my blood tantalized his thirst. He rested there, his exploration at a crossroads, waiting for a sign, or a nod of accent as he circled, hovering at the very secret he longed for, but dared not entertain. As if to seek permission, his eyes met mine and slowly his finger delved deeper into his sensual exploration, spreading the folds open to reveal the hidden treasure, the pearl buried beneath the layers was revealed to his amazement and awe.

The petals of the flower now in bloom released a perfume which intoxicated both his heightened senses and my human ones. Dipping into the enchantment exposed by the blossoming bud, the depth of our desire was revealed. Careful, not to enter this realm, his fingers hovered, purposefully delaying the inevitable, natural, logical, and anticipated considering the opportunity afforded him. With lazy eyes and a broken breath, I nodded encouragement and he gingerly tapped forward, spiraling deeper in, tentatively entering into the depths of my center. This cold hardness of his fingertip, foretelling of the night I would give myself to him completely.

"So very warm…so wet…so beautiful."

His desire could no longer be managed and he cupped my neck, drowning my dry mouth with his parted lips, his tongue singing to mine, his teeth grazed my lips with this passionate call of his need for my body to join with his.

"Stay."

The command came from the depth of my being and so strong was the sound of my voice, he could have no opportunity to shrink back now from the need we both longed to satisfy. His eyes never left mine as we explored the secret world of the love we uniquely made in his world. Colored only by the passion of his lust, not the power of his thirst, his topaz brilliance shined like a brilliant gem, beckoning me, holding me, and adoring me. Circling with a tentative blindness of the uninitiated, his quiet finger adventured in to the darkness, unsure of the path, and curious beyond reason, he delved in.

"Wait."

The whisper lingered in the air like a warning alarm breaking the silence of the night. His eyes frowned in concern that melted only with the sight of the knowing smile growing on my lips.

"I am yours."

The innocence of his expression disintegrated into a blank mask as I caressed him from within my the depths of my willing body, his fingers rhythmically enveloped, milked, and held in the strong, pulsing embrace of my love. A grim tension of insecurity washed over his brow momentarily afraid of the overwhelming sensation calling him to surrender himself so completely, but my fingers soothed away his fear. If he felt weakened in this exploration, I grew stronger under this touch.

"I want to show you something…"


	3. Edward's Discovery

**AN: This is the extension of Chapter 2, but it takes a much different voice to tell this part...hence it is a unique chapter. It is different... **

**AGAIN BE REMINDED THIS IS CLEARLY SEXUAL IN NATURE NOT GRAPHIC but still...avoid if you are so disinclined to such matter...but in fact...if you are still reading this post, I suppose you are interested.**

**AND Clearly there is interest...point of interest...in the first two hours that I posted this material, there were close to 1,000 hits and by the end of the day there were almost 1500, many listings as favorite story, author and alerts. **

**But sadly, few reviews.**

**I am interested in your human experience of the work, not just praise or 'hey, don't like your punctuation." So I would love to hear from you.**

**DISCLAIMER: This work is based on the characters of the Twilight saga, although...it may seem remote here! The innocence of their exploration I believe is still in character, even if the topic itself would never have made it through the editorial staff.**

* * *

"Edward, I want to show you something…"she said quietly, the intensity of her inviting chocolate eyes, misty with want, holding him gently in her sight. She smiled lovingly at the man who held her heart, who spoke to her soul and who's very being made hers meaningful.

"I want you to see what I feel."

Clarity of purpose was vital to the exploration she offered. Describing her experience of herself was the goal, not seduction; an extension of the exploration, within the ground rules he had established even if they had been readily discarded..

It was the power of the level of intimacy they had shared that created arousal. In taking over the direction of the experience she didn't intend to alter the original goal. She wanted to show him something inside himself.

His experience needed to be on his own terms, not trying to translate and extrapolate from watching her. She wanted more than anything to speak in his language and to reach beyond the places of his human sense blindness to a place they could share.

She held his slender hand and kissed the fingers that were still warm and fragrant with her scent. His eyes widened with awe as she curled them into a cup, burrowed her nose and inhaled deeply.

He toyed with the surrender he desired to accept. The fear that he felt was laced with the unknown and yet heady and irresistible to him. He did not flinch or pull away. He allowed himself to be taken into her experience. He was free.

"You see…," she began, faltering only briefly as a pang of indecisive thought flashed through her mind, laced with worry and wonder at his judgment, she paused. _How could she reveal this information without telling him something she had carefully hidden? She was not as innocent as he may have believed._

Yet, confidence is gentle and loving. If she would offer her soul and love with unconditional passion, she could bare that self completely.

She smiled a grin of mischief and delight that intrigued and fascinated him

"…well," she began again, with determination, looking away first, before connecting with his eyes.

"…I like it." His surprise was physically present.

"My scent, I mean. I like it too.." The secret made her bashful with the telling, but the telling was a gift she gave freely..

"...but...I'm different mixed with yours, now and…."He held his breath as he watched her eyes flutter as she explored the lasting presence she had made on his hands; her nose brushed his palm as she traced the route on his flesh. She murmured in her discovery, "…I am so different…it's so wonderful." The purring of her voice floated like the steam wafting still in the tiny bath.

He could not blink. He dared not breathe. The depths of pain in his obsidian eyes decried his lust, but not from thirst. There was pleasure in his pain.

She smiled at him in gratitude and pride for his reaction and his gift. There was no monster here. She was not afraid.

Her rosy lips, full with heat of arousal, simply parted and her wet warm tongue caressed them, preparing to enter a great unknown. Juices filled her mouth just as venom flooded his and they each swallowed in preparation for what was to home.

Holding him close to her, her tongue emerged slowly to touch his palm and sample the bounty of her essence present there. The endless wetness rushing to her mouth fueled the journey. Rolling slowly, lavishly, and creeping up from the crease of his palm to the tip of his finger; their eyes met. His permission secured, she took the tip into her mouth, swirled the edges of his fingernail to gather every drop, her teeth scraped his flesh, and she sucked gently flushing out the sweet juices, reborn anew in the abundant wetness of her mouth.

The experience was deep and heavy for him as he struggled to suppress the roar of pleasure building in his core at the sight and sounds of her exploration. His mind was there, swimming in the deluge, watching from within his own, and the exploration of her tongue in her own mouth.

She whispered softly, simply, without force or heat; without fear or shame.

"I like the way I taste, too."

She opened her eyes to meet his blank brilliance; accepting her gift of merely receiving, neither directing or projecting, nor requiring any plan or course of action. He graciously received her experience of herself. It was a gift she thought he would never allow, and yet, eagerly accepted.

"I like the way you make me taste."

He imagined her body reacting; how her arrousal, his gift to her, was arrousing still after the fact. He longed to capture it, this moment; to memorize the way her eyes darted as her body and mind searched for the specific accuracy she desired to share with him. To retain forever in his mind how playfully that soft pink tongue played on her teeth, pushing forward to part her lips again, peeking out briefly from that safe mysterious haven, as the strong pliant muscle caressed her teeth in discovery of her essence. How he wanted to be her tongue!

Realization of meaning rang through her. Through his powerful and heightened scent and touch lay the means to describe the experience of taste. She rejoiced knowing she could reach him and bring him to life.

"I am tangy and sweet—like the way moss swells up after a rain; how it is vivid green and teeming with life…earthy like loam, like in springtime, when everything is waking."

"I am textured—like toes playing on cool wet sand and the salt water drying in the sun on your legs"

"I am creamy and light—like the velvet petals of a red rose and lingering, like a long sigh."

He captured her face in his hands and kissed her, taking her essence, her complete essence into his body with knowledge vastly deeper than he could hav found on his own. The intensity of the kiss filled her with gladness for her gift had been received. She pulled him close and whispered in his ear.

"that's what I taste like…to me."

_In hindsight, I know how important and valuable for him…what maybe started out as a game is now so much more important. I can see his need to know these things. To know what I am like…what I sense, how I sense. The differences and the limitations of my senses isolate him for my human experience. His making took away the possibility of his. I realized, without his own frame of reference, his own understanding, in terms which related directly to him…he was alone, unable to share with me except as an outsider, and so is easily over helmed within the context of his hyper awareness. He may have thought that through experimentation and exploration he could be better prepared to please me and to protect me by lessening the intensity of that first intimacy by exposure, like an inoculation of a sort, but I think he is better prepared only because he was able to share my humanity by exploring my senses. I only hope that is what he found in our exploration._


	4. ARCHIVE NOTICE

A/N:

Okay…it is official. This story has been archived.

It appears in a rewritten form in the work,

"Ascension of the Morning Star" on this site, _Twilighted_, and _The Writer's Coffee Shop_.

I hope you come and check out how the story you have followed

is now a piece of the bigger novel-length tale.

Let me hear what you think!

Thanks for following along and being among the early adopters

who had a glimpse of the novel as it evolved.

Don't hesitate to start at the beginning because EVERY CHAPTER has been rewritten.

Here is the link to

"Ascension of the Morning Star"

You will find it as #1 on my profile!

ALSO Check out My ASCENSION Forum for lots of pix, additional bits, and behind the scenes stuff for Ascension!


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